Get ready to tee off with laughter with these funny golf puns!
Whether you’re a scratch golfer or still working on perfecting that swing, we’ve got a hole-in-one collection of the funniest golf jokes and puns to keep you grinning from the first tee to the 18th hole.
The best golf puns and golf jokes
Golf may be a game of patience and precision, but today, it’s all about a good laugh. So let’s drive straight into some funny golf puns that are sure to be above par!
Funny golf jokes
Why did the golfer need new socks? He had a hole in one.
When a golfer starts a band, what do they call it? A swing group.
Why did the golfer carry a spare umbrella In case of a bad fore cast.
What do you call a wizard who can turn himself into a golf club? Harry Putter.
What do golfers do when they retire? They go clubbing.
Why are computers so good at golf? Because they have hard drives.
What do golfers do on their days off? Putter around.
Why do golf courses get hot after tournaments? Because all the fans leave.
What do you use to find the location of a golf ball? A lie detector.
What car does a golfer’s assistant drive? A Caddy-lac.
Did you hear about the seasoned golfer whose clubs burst into flames? He had several irons in the fire.
More great jokes for golfers
What’s a golfer’s favourite lunch? A club sandwich.
What’s a golfer’s second favourite lunch? Peanut putter and jelly sandwich.
What’s a golfer’s favourite drink? Tee.
What’s a golfer’s favourite dance move? The Bogey.
What’s a golfer’s favourite bird? Any birdie will do.
What are a golfer’s favourite flowers? Fore-get me nots.
What do you call a golf shot that ends up in outer space? A black hole in one.
Which ancient Egyptian pharaoh liked to golf? King Putt.
What do you get when you cross a funny golfer with a stretchy toy? Silly Putter.
Golfing jokes to make you smile
Did you hear about the golfer who swung his club halfway? He nearly had a stroke.
What do you call an itchy person who can shoot par or better? A scratch golfer.
How long did the golfer promise to stay married? ‘Til death do us par.
Did you hear about the golfer whose shot landed in a music store? He broke three records.
Why are golf balls like eggs? Because they’re white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Why do golfers hate cake? They might get a slice.
Why couldn’t Cinderella play golf? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars? Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.
What do you get when you cross a baseball field with a golf course? A diamond in the rough.
Why do golf announcers whisper? Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.
What do you get when you cross a person living in monastery with a short golf shot? A chip-monk.
Did you hear about the actor who took too many strokes on the golf course? He wasn’t right for the par.
More one liner golf jokes
Where do ghosts play golf? On the golf corpse.
What do you call an angry golfer? Teed off.
What does a golfer’s diet consist of? A lot of greens and water.
Did you hear about the golfer who didn’t have metal clubs in his bag? He was iron deficient.
What type of beard is best for a golfer? A goa-tee.
Why do golf pros tell you to keep your head down during lessons? So you can’t see them laughing.
Where are you most likely to find a bear on a golf course? In the cub house.
Hilarious golf dad jokes
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? Fore.
What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? Golfers go WACK… “Damn” and skydivers go “Damn”… WACK.
What’s a golfer’s worst nightmare? The Bogeyman.
What do you call a popular Sesame Street character who takes one swing less than par? Big Birdie.
What movie about golf took place in a galaxy far, far away? Par Wars.
What did Master Yoda say when Luke Skywalker sliced the ball onto the next fairway over? “May the Fores be with you.”
Which Star Wars character was good at sinking short shots? Jabba the Putt.
On what part of a course do golfers like to drink? The watering hole.
What area of the fairway is a dog’s favourite? The ruff.
What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A skydiver has a better chance of landing on the fairway.
What do computer experts use on the golf course? An Apple cart.
Funny golf quotes
“Golf is a good walk spoiled.” Mark Twain
“I have a tip that will take five strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.” Arnold Palmer
“If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right. ” Bob Hope
“My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.” Rodney Dangerfield
“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” Gerald R. Ford
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” Lee Trevino
“The other day, I broke 70. That’s a lot of clubs.” Henny Youngman
“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” Jack Lemmon
The best golf puns
Putt your wits to the test
Putt it out there
Putt-ing edge
Putt it down
No ifs or putts
Putt in some effort
Putt your best foot forward
Feeling putt out
Putt things in perspective
Down putt not out
The putt of the joke
Don’t putt corners
It’s got lots of putt-entail
I couldn’t putt it any better myself
I wouldn’t putt it past them
Don’t putt all your eggs in one basket
Puttering around
Putter late than never
Putter luck next time
I’ve got a putter idea
To putt a long story short
I couldn’t putt it down
Feeling below par
The best by par
As par as the eye can see
Raise the par
All bets par off
As par usual
Let’s par-tee!
A par is born
Par none
Caught between a rock and a par-d place
More clever golf puns
In a rough patch
These are rough days
Time to bunker down
Tee time
Tee break
That’s tee-rible
Don’t be tee’d off
Golf is my cup of tee
Let it tee
Tee-rific
To tee or not to tee?
You drive me crazy
Don’t lose your drive
Drive right in
Drive a hard bargain
Shut up and drive
Nose drive
Take a drive
A stroke of genius
A stroke of luck
Add some swing to the conversation
Getting into the swing of it
Swinging in the rain
Un-fore-gettable
Up fore the challenge
At a loss fore words
All fore the best
Fore-sight
Fore sure
A cry fore help
Go fore it
Asking fore a friend
Even more golfing puns
No iron-y
An iron will is needed
Iron out the details
Strike while the iron’s hot
A chip on the shoulder
Always willing to chip in
A chip off the old block
The start of a beautiful friend-chip
Fairway to heaven
You’ve got a fairway with words
I’ve got a fairway to go
No need for fairway tales
The greens are always greener
Green and bear it
On the right course
Stay the course
Par for the course
Course language
May the course be with you
Of course
You’re a real hole in one
No holes parred
It’s a hole new ball game
Ball’s well that ends well
The early birdie catches the worm
A birdie in the hand is worth two in the bush
Don’t count your birdies before they’re hatched
It’s the bogey-man
Put your eagle aside
That’s ill-eagle
Not all men are created eagle
I golf you on my mind
Golf forth and prosper
One last funny golf pun…
What did one golf ball say to the other golf ball? “See you round.”
And there you have it – a round of cute golf puns that hopefully had you laughing all the way to the 18th hole. Whether you’re out on the green or just enjoying a laugh at the clubhouse, we hope these funny jokes about golf give you something to smile about between swings!
More family-friendly jokes
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