Welcome to a compilation of hilarious rock puns that’s sure to rock your world!
The best rock puns and rock jokes
Whether you’re a seasoned geologist or simply someone who loves a good chuckle, these rock jokes are bound to deliver a good laugh. Get ready to rock and roll with these puns, quips, and geological gags.
Family-friendly rock jokes for kids
1. What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone.
2. Why did the rock become a musician? Because it wanted to be a little boulder.
3. Why are rocks so cheap? Because they’re always on shale.
4. What do you call a dubious rock? A sham rock.
5. Why do tectonic plates always argue? Because there’s too much friction between them.
6. What did the stone want to be when it grew up? A rock star.
7. Why did the miner stop digging? He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
8. Why did the rock take confidence lessons? To help it feel boulder.
9. Why did the rock and the stone break up? The trust in their relationship eroded.
10. Why didn’t the stone get back together with the rock? He had too many faults.
11. Why did the rock shower every morning? It wanted to start with a clean slate.
12. It takes a boulder person to read through this list of rock puns.
13. Where do you take an injured rock? To the Rocktor.
14. What happened to the rock after continuous hours of interrogation? It finally cracked.
15. Where do wealthy rocks live? Rockefeller Street.
16. What kind of rocks are sour? Limestone.
17. Why was the gemstone scared for his exams? Because he thought he wasn’t going topaz.
18. How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae? He was lichen it.
19. What did the rock order at the bar? Soda on the rocks.
20. What did one volcano say to the other volcano? “I lava you so much.”
More funny rock jokes
21. Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks.
22. How did the stone feel after his workout? Rock solid.
23. How did the rock feel about going to jail? Petrified.
24. Why can’t minerals ever lie? Because they’re always in their pure form.
25. What did the rock say to the word processor? “Boulder.”
26. What did Sherlock Holmes say when Watson asked what kind of rock he was holding? “Sedimentary, my dear Watson.”
27. When were rock jokes the funniest? During the stone age.
28. What did the rock say when it ended up at the bottom of the hill? “That’s how I roll.”
29. Why did the rock go to jail? The quartz found him guilty.
30. What did the sedimentary rock say to the metamorphic rock? “You’ve changed, man!”
31. Why is it hard to be a diamond? Too much pressure.
32. Why did the rock decide to hit the gym? Because he wanted to be bigger and boulder.
33. Why was the rock emotionless? Because it had a heart of stone.
34. What do you call a rock that complains? A whine-stone.
35. Why are limestones ignored? Because they’re too chalkative.
36. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Geode. Geode who? Geode bless you!
37. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shale. Shale who? Shale, we dance?
38. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gneiss. Gneiss who? Gneiss to meet you!
Geologist rock jokes
39. How do geologists like their whiskey? On the rocks.
40. Why did the geologist quit his job? Because he wanted a clean slate.
41. What did the rock say to the geologist? “Don’t take me for granite.”
42. Why did the geologist keep their old rock collection? Because it had a lot of sedimental value.
43. What did Darth Vader tell the geologist? “May the quartz be with you.”
44. What’s a geologist’s favourite fruit? Pome-granite. (more fruit jokes here)
45. What’s a geologist’s favourite type of music? Rock & Roll.
46. What’s a geologist’s favourite band? The Rolling Stones.
47. What’s a geologist’s favourite restaurant? The Hard Rock Café.
48. What’s a geologist’s favourite sweet treat? Rock candy.
49. What’s a geologist’s favourite movie? Pyrites of the Caribbean.
50. What’s a geologist’s favourite kind of magazine? Rolling Stone.
51. Who’s a geologist’s favourite comedian? Chris Rock.
52. Who’s a geologist’s favourite actor? Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.
53. What happens when you keep reading geologist jokes in your free time? You know that you’ve really hit rock bottom.
54. Why should you never expect perfection from geologists? Because they all have their faults.
More geologist jokes and geology puns
55. Why are geologists so good in school? Because they don’t take anything for granite.
56. How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs.
57. Why don’t geologists argue? They’re too pelite.
58. Where do geologists study? At sedimentary school.
59. Why are geologists good at romance? Because they’re very sedimental.
60. Why don’t geologists like alcohol? Because they like to be stone-cold sober.
61. Why are geologists never hungry? Because they lost their apatite.
62. How does a geologist show their displeasure? They give the coal shoulder.
63. Why was the geologist tired of his work? Because it was mostly boring.
64. What happened after the geologist finished his work? It was a lode off his shoulders.
65. What did the doctor prescribe to the sick geologist? Tech-tonic.
66. Why was the geologist puzzled at the comedy show? Because some of the funny jokes fluorite over his head.
67. Did you see the geologist towing a crate of rocks behind his car? He had a wide lode sign.
68. What do geologists use to clean themselves? Soapstone.
69. Why was the geologist agitated? Because he had lost his marbles.
70. Why don’t geologists argue? Because they’re too pelite.
71. Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money? Because they consider a million years ago to be recent.
Silly rock puns for instagram
72. You rock my world
73. Let’s rock and roll
74. Between a rock and a hard place
75. Power to the pebble
76. Pebble to the metal
77. Rock solid advice
78. Rock steady
79. Rock on
80. I need some assi-stones
81. Not to quarry
82. Rocky road
83. Quarried sick
84. Getting off to a rocky start
85. Rock the boat
86. On the rocks
87. Opportunity rocks
88. Solid as a rock
89. Don’t take me for granite
90. It’s a hard rock life
91. Hit rock bottom
92. Stony faced
93. A stony silence
94. Feeling sedimental
95. Feeling a little boulder
96. I won’t gravel
97. A clean slate
98. Rock solid plans
99. For the crater good
100. I lava you so much
101. Metamorphically speaking
More funny puns about rocks
102. You’re a gem
103. May the quartz be with you
104. Of quartz it is
105. Geode bless you
106. Geode willing
107. Geode forbid
108. An act of geode
109. I don’t want to chalk about it
110. Chalk it up to experience
111. Look who’s chalking
112. Keep your coal
113. Coal as a cucumber
114. In coal blood
115. Get coal feet
116. Gave me the coal shoulder
117. Shale of the century
118. Shale we dance?
119. Seek and ye shale find
120. I get the schist of it
121. All ore nothing
122. Believe it ore not
123. Be there ore be square
124. Now ore never
125. Heads ore tails
126. Friend ore foe
127. Give ore take
128. Don’t flint-ch
129. Igneous is bliss
130. A grain of basalt
131. A basalt on the senses
132. Have a gneiss day
133. Gneiss to meet you
134. Gneiss going
135. No more Mr. Gneiss Guy
136. This rock was magma before it was cool
137. A cold as stone
138. Turned to stone
139. Stepping stone
140. No stone unturned
141. A heart of stone
142. Rocks in your head
143. A pebble person
144. Cobble something together
145. A plutonic relationship
146. Gravelling at my feet
147. Rock around the clock
148. App-rocks-imate
149. My per-rock-ative
One last rock pun
150. “I really like rock puns.” “My sediments exactly!”
And there you have it – we’ve left no stone unturned in our quest to find you the perfect rock joke. Hopefully they have put a rock solid smile on your face 🤣
More jokes and puns
For more family-friendly jokes and good puns, head this way:
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