Dive into a refreshing world of humour with our collection of water puns and jokes!
From puns that make a splash to clever quips that flow smoothly, get ready to sail through a sea of laughter.
The best water puns and water jokes
Whether you’re a fan of dry wit or enjoy gags that flow smoothly, these aquatic-themed quips are sure to make a big splash. They’re perfect for water-themed social media posts too. Water you waiting for?!
Funny water jokes
Let’s get things flowing with some hilarious water jokes.
1. What runs but never walks? Water.
2. Why don’t we tell secrets by the water? Because they might get leaked.
3. What happens when you get water on a table? It becomes a pool table.
4. Why doesn’t water laugh at jokes? Because it’s not a fan of dry humour.
5. What do you call a duck that refuses to go in the water? A chicken.
6. Why is the letter T like an island? Because it’s in the middle of water.
7. What do mermaids sleep on? Water beds.
8. What did the sink say to the tap? “You’re a real drip.”
9. What kind of rocks are never under water? Dry ones.
10. RIP Boiled water….you will be mist.
11. Who carries out operations in water? A sturgeon.
12. I never believed water could freeze… but now icy.
13. A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Great water jokes for kids
Give little ones a good laugh with this selection of watery humour.
14. What kind of water cannot freeze? Hot water.
15. When does it rain money? When there’s change in the weather.
16. What vegetable is forbidden on all boats? Leeks.
17. A girl walks into a library and asks for a bottle of water. The librarian says “this is a library!”. The girl whispers “sorry, can I have a bottle of water, please”.
18. Who is the world’s greatest underwater spy? James Pond.
19. What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean? H to O.
20. There are two reasons why you shouldn’t drink toilet water. Number one, and number two.
21. Where can you find running water on the internet? On a live stream.
22. Knock knock! Who’s there? Water? Water who? Water you waiting for? Open the door!
23. Why do sharks only swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
24. What do you get when you pour warm water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.
25. What keeps a dock floating above water? Pier pressure.
26. Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
More silly water jokes
27. What did one water molecule say to the other? “I’m feeling a bit positive today!”
28. H20 is water, but what is H204? For drinking, washing and swimming.
29. What did the bottled water tell the spy? The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
30. What do you call a snowman on a hot day? A puddle.
31. What happened when the scientist tried to capture some fog? She mist.
32. Why is tea so therapeutic? Because boiling the water raises your self e-steam.
33. Did you hear the watermelon joke? It’s pitiful.
34. What did the trout say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam!
35. How do you make a water bed more bouncy? You use spring water.
36. Why did the water keep jumping back into the bottle? It was spring water.
37. Where does a water droplet go to settle arguments? The Supreme Quart.
38. Patient: “Doctor, what’s the best cure for water on the knee?” Doctor: “A tap on the ankle.”
39. Why did the student have grades underwater? Because they were below C level.
40. Why did the student study hydrology? They had a thirst for knowledge.
41. I opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.
Rain water jokes
Brighten up a rainy day with these rain-themed water jokes.
42. What did one raindrop say to the other? “Two’s company, three’s a cloud.”
43. Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs? Because you might step on a poodle.
44. What’s the king’s favourite type of precipitation? Reign.
45. What’s the king’s second favourite type of precipitation? Hail.
46. What did the raindrop say to the soil? “Water you doing?”
47. What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
48. What do you call a deer that loves rainwater? A rain-deer.
49. How do raindrops ask each other out? “Water you doing tonight?”
50. What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road? “This is a grate day.”
51. How did the raindrop feel when it received a gift? It was on Cloud Nine.
52. What goes up when rain comes down? An umbrella.
Hilarious jokes about swimming
53. How do you organise a pool party on Mars? You planet.
54. What does a search engine wear in the water? Swimming googles.
55. Where do mummies swim? In the Dead Sea.
56. What’s a pirate’s favourite place to swim? The “aarrrrr”-ctic ocean.
57. Why should you never swim on a full stomach? Because it’s easier to swim on water.
58. How much does it cost to swim with sharks? An arm and a leg.
59. Why was the mouse afraid of water? Catfish.
60. Someone asked me for a donation towards the local swimming pool… I gave them a glass of water.
Ocean puns and jokes
There are loads of water puns with an ocean theme – here are our favourites.
61. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
62. Why did the ocean break up with the pond? She thought he was too shallow.
63. Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby? It was a buoy.
64. What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool? “Show me your mussels!”
65. Why are oceans so meticulous? They like to be pacific.
66. Where can you find an ocean with no water? On a map.
67. Why did the ocean leave the party early? It was getting really tide.
68. What can you do if you are the ocean? Water-ver you want.
69. What kind of hair does the ocean have? Wavy.
70. Why is the ocean always on time? It likes to stay current.
71. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
72. What’s a sea monster’s favourite snack? Ships and dip.
73. Why do some fish live at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school.
74. What crashes onto the shore on tiny beaches? Micro-waves.
75. Who cleans the ocean? A mer-maid.
76. What do you get when you throw a lot of books into the ocean? A title wave.
River jokes
This list of water puns will have you crying a river of laughter!
77. Why does a river make an amazing roommate? It likes to go with the flow.
78. What did the sea say to the river? “You can run, but you can’t tide.”
79. Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
80. In what state is the Amazon river? The liquid state.
81. What do you call a squeaky river? A creek.
82. Why did the river go to the doctor? It was feeling a little run-down!
83. Why are rivers lazy? Because they never get out of their beds.
84. How is a rose like a river? They’re both flowers.
85. What’s the fastest thing on a river bed? A motor-pike and side-carp.
86. Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
87. Where do fish go to take a nap? The river bed.
88. I was going to make a river joke… but I don’t think it’s current.
Funny water puns
Add some hydration to the gags with a good water pun.
89. I will alwaves love you
90. Live streaming
91. Wet here
92. Very well
93. All’s well that ends well
94. Low self es-team
95. Run out of steam
96. Full steam ahead
97. Things aren’t always as they steam
98. Rain of terror
99. Raining amok
100. I fish I was by the water
101. That’s not the fish-ue
102. Having a whale of a time
103. I didn’t do it on porpoise
104. Will salmon help me?
105. Cold shoal-der
106. I need priva-sea
107. Too much sea-crecy
108. I’m being sea-rious
More short water puns
109. ’tis the sea-son
110. Sowing the sea-ds
111. Swimmer down
112. Channel surfing
113. That’s unfathomable
114. Lake a fish out of water
115. Swim lake a fish
116. You shore can
117. It shore is
118. Keep it at bay
119. I’m so tide
120. Keeping things tide-y
121. I’m tide up right now
122. They tide the knot
123. Waterever
124. Water you doing?
125. I know water problem is
126. Water ‘bout me?
127. Water you think?
128. Watery going to do?
More water captions for instagram
Use these water captions with your social media pics.
129. Go with the flow
130. Laugh like a drain
131. Don’t rock the boat
132. Whatever floats your boat
133. Kick up a storm
134. The calm before the storm
135. Fishing for compliments
136. The floodgates are open
137. Don’t rain on my parade
138. I need to blow off some steam
139. A drop in the ocean
140. Take a raincheck
141. Paddle your own canoe
142. The tide has turned
143. Going against the tide
144. I’m in deep water
145. Off the deep end
146. Drowning in sorrow
147. My head is swimming
148. Still waters run deep
149. It’s all water under the bridge
150. In every life a little rain must fall
151. When it rains, it pours
152. Cry me a river
153. Dry humour
154. Every cloud has a silver lining
One last water pun…
155. These are the best dam water puns I’ve ever heard!
From ripples of laughter to waves of amusement, we hope these water jokes have really made a splash!
More jokes and puns
You’ll find a whole host of family-friendly jokes and favourite puns in these articles:
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The post 155 best water puns and jokes for floods of giggles appeared first on Growing Family.
