When I was in college and living in my first apartment in Chicago, my roommate was my then-boyfriend’s best friend. Our neighbor told me in confidence that as soon as our relationship got serious, my roommate was going to take a turn for the worse.
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And that is exactly what happened. He and I got engaged, and she flipped. Suddenly she wanted to know where I was at all times. She stopped cleaning and let the sink grow a cover of mold while I was out of town. She started stealing my rent checks and spending the money on whatever she wanted. It was a super toxic situation that I’m glad I got out of.
Of course, that doesn’t really compare to my ex’s college roommate who kept his pee in mason jars in his desk. Really, I’m not kidding.
“My roommate in college claimed he was involved with the mafia. He was constantly sweaty, was very jumpy, and always had a lot of cash in his car. He never was around on the weekends, and I never saw him drink. Strangest of all, is that he never once slept in his room. He was always on the couch by the door. He eventually told me that it was because if someone ever broke in looking for him, he wanted ‘them’ to find him right away, so no one else would get hurt. I still don’t know if he was telling the truth but nonetheless I ALWAYS locked my bedroom door at night.” —DrLandingStrip
“One of my roommates used to sleepwalk and sleep-talk almost every night and I was the only one who’d be awake whenever it would happen. I’d witness her cleaning our fridge, sealing our opened bag of chips, and I’d hear her quote Shakespeare in her sleep. What made her go back to bed was me asking her to sleep and she’d look at me and close her eyes. Whenever I ask her if she recalled any of it, the answer was always no.” —bbbonjh3ng
“My college roommate didn’t know how to do laundry before we started school. We had a community washer and dryer on our floor. Probably the third week of school, I went down to get a soda from the machine and I walk in and there are bubbles four inches deep on the floor. My roommate walks in behind me to check his laundry. He had put three full scoops of Tide in the washer with his load. I had to take him to an off campus laundromat to wash all of the excess soap out of his clothes.” —micromaniac_8
“The guy whose only furniture in his room was a tent. He slept in a tent. In a room. I was honestly impressed.” —BeneejSpoor
“She made ‘chicken stew,’ which consisted of unseasoned chicken boiled in an entire bottle of red wine vinaigrette dressing and nothing else. The whole place smelled like vinegar for weeks.” —TwiceInEveryMoment
“Had a roommate during my technical schooling for the Navy. Guy was quiet, worked the night shift, and was always just a little odd. Although he was super nice, so we didn’t have many problems. One day on my lunch break I come into our room to grab something and I hear music. Curious as to why Marilyn Manson was blasting FULL volume in what would normally be the middle of his sleep time, I stepped inside the door to see him lying on top of his blankets with his arms folded over his chest Nosferatu style. After taking a moment to register just how weird this was, I stepped over by his speaker and turned the volume down a tad. That’s when his eyes shot open and without turning his head he just said “What are you doing?’ I sh*t my pants internally and meekly responded, ‘Oh sorry, I thought you were asleep. Was just turning it down.’ He paused a moment and just replied, ‘Oh… sorry,’ and shut his eyes again. Dude was an oddball, but over time he opened up to me a little bit and we started gaming together. Wherever you are man, I hope the Navy worked out for you.” —Stuckatwork271
“Had a roommate that was a liar and a stealer. I saw photos of him on Facebook wearing my clothes. I confronted him and he said he must own the same shirt as me. He went out and bought the same shirt a couple days later and put it on. Then he handed me the old shirt saying he found mine behind the dryer. It was stretched out and had his distinct smell on it.” —knovit
“I woke up around 5:30 a.m. and made my way to the kitchen, groggy and barely awake. As I turned the corner, I stopped in my tracks because my roommate of three months was crouched on the counter, wearing a speedo. In a Gollum voice, he said, ‘My precious!!!’ and mimicked Gollum’s weird movements. I refused to react to it, said nothing, and made breakfast. It’s been 10 years and we’re still great friends.” —antwauhny
“A few years back my former roommate and I let our downstairs neighbor move in with us because the guy he was living with had taken up a new habit. He’d befriended the pigeons that hung out on the rooftop outside his bedroom window and eventually started taking them inside and caring for them like pets.” —neuro_illogical
“I had a college roommate who was obsessed with CSI. She had a CSI pillow and sheets/blankets. She refused to turn on any lights and kept all blinds shut. She hated light and would sigh loudly if I would turn the lights on to do anything. I went to college right around when you needed a college email to make a Facebook, and she would tell me that Facebook is how they spy on you… she said she would never have a MySpace or anything of the like. (She might have been right on that one.) She would always say I was a sheep and that I would have my identity stolen by ‘them.’” —xpollydartonx
