If you’re looking for tree jokes, tree puns, and tree proverbs, you’re in the right place.
I’ve rounded up a bumper list of over one hundred tree jokes and puns about trees to get you giggling. They make really good tree captions for your nature photos on social media (check out my nature hashtags and tree quotes posts for those too), and you can also use them in school projects, greetings cards and texts. Or you could just have fun reading them!
Fantastic tree facts
Trees are amazing. Before we get started on the jokes, here are some fantastic facts about trees.
- Trees have been around on Earth for at least 370 million years.
- Trees provide food, shelter, fuel and building materials.
- Some types of tree can live for thousands of years.
- Trees act like the lungs of our planet, turning carbon dioxide into oxygen.
- Trees work together to ward off predators. They release chemical signals to deter pests, warn other trees about a threat, and attract predators that feed on the pests.
- There are 422 times more trees on earth than there are people.
- Trees can communicate with each other via an underground network of soil fungi – they can even send nutrients, water and unused carbon to each other!
- Leaves are lots of colours, including red, yellow, purple and orange, not just green. Chlorophyll makes leaves green and dominates until they get less sunshine, when the other colours start to take over.
- There are over 60,000 species of trees on our planet.
- Trees release chemicals called phytoncides, and research has shown that breathing these in can reduce blood pressure, lower anxiety levels and make us feel happier. It’s no wonder forest bathing is becoming increasingly popular, is it?
This short video explains forest bathing in more detail.
The best tree puns and tree jokes
So now we know just how incredible trees are, it’s time to appreciate them for their ability to give us a good laugh.
Read on for a whole host (or should that be forest?!) of family-friendly jokes on trees and tree puns. I’ve also included some great tree proverbs, which are perfect if you’d like something a little more meaningful that gets you thinking.
You can also check out my list of fall puns which has lots of tree-themed gags and leaf puns.
Funny tree jokes
Put a smile on your face with these funny – and sometimes rather silly – tree jokes.
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.
Which side of a tree has the most leaves? The outside.
What is every tree’s favourite shape? A tree-angle.
Why do trees hate riddles? Because they don’t like being stumped.
What type of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
Why are leaves always taking risks? Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
What did the tree say to the lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
How did the tree get lost? It took the wrong root.
Why are trees some of the best networkers? Because they’re always branching out.
What type of fish falls from trees? Jel-leaf-ish. (more fish puns here)
Why did the tree fail maths? Because it couldn’t do square roots.
How do trees make themselves heard? Amp-leaf-ication.
What’s the same size and shape as a giant eucalyptus tree, but weighs nothing? It’s shadow.
What’s a tree’s favourite drink? Root beer.
Which dating app do trees use? Timber.
Why were lots of people sitting under the tree? It was poplar.
Where do woodlice go on holiday? To the beech.
What did the Jedi say to the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
How do you get down from a tree? You don’t – down comes from a duck.
What kind of stories do giant sequoia trees tell? Tall tales.
Why shouldn’t you invite a tree to a party? Because they never leaf.
What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you.
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
What do you call an oak tree that can’t make it’s mind up? Undeciduous.
Did you know I can cut down a tree just by looking at it? It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes.
What gets a year older every time it rings? A tree.
Why do dogwood trees make good pets? Because they have a great bark, but wooden bite.
What happens when a tree falls into mud? It leafs an impression.
Why did the tree get into trouble? Because it was being knotty.
What looks like half a tree? The other half.
How do trees get in touch with each other. By teleafone.
What’s a tree’s least favourite month? Sep-timber.
Which tree likes high fives? A palm tree.
What do trees do on Valentine’s Day? They get sappy.
Which school subject do trees like best? Geome-tree.
What sound does a tree make? It barks.
What’s a tree’s favourite dinosaur? The Tree-Rex.
How many oranges grow on a tree? All of them.
What radio stations do trees like? Ones that play poplar songs.
Where do saplings go to learn? Elemen-tree school.
What’s the saddest tree? The weeping willow.
Why did the tree need to take a nap? For rest.
What do trees wear when it gets cold? Fir coats.
What’s the best way to make a tree laugh? Tell it acorn-y joke.
What did the tree like best about Star Trek? The Captain’s log.
Would you like a quick explanation of an acorn? In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
Why was the tree stumped? Because it couldn’t get to the root of the problem.
Christmas tree puns
Looking for jokes about trees with a festive theme? Here are my favourite Christmas tree jokes – perhaps you could use them to make your Christmas card messages holly jolly?
Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? They always drop their needles.
How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up.
What happens when Christmas trees go numb? They get pines and needles.
Who is a pine tree’s favourite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
Why was there ice cream under the Christmas tree? To go with the pine cones.
How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer? Decorate it with horn-aments.
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
What do Christmas trees get when they’re ill? Tinselitis.
What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree? A faux fir.
Short tree puns & forest puns
Take it or leaf it
Good things come in trees
Deja-yew
I’m rooting for you
Wooden you think?
I don’t be-leaf it
The silent tree-tment
What a treet
A pine line
In grove danger
Call the copse
It’s very in-tree-guing
A quick re-treet
Best fronds
All very over-elming
That’s leaf
The best I conifer
That’s tree-mendous
Take the short root
Bough to pressure
Tie the knot
It’s very poplar
Pine in the neck
Good chemis-tree
What a re-leaf
Tree for all
The third book in the tree-logy
Buy one, get one tree
It’s a mys-tree
Feeling pine
Oakay
Barking up the wrong tree
Can’t see the wood for the trees
Get to the root of the problem
Going out on a limb
Knock on wood
Conker the opposition
Fir sure
Sleep like a log
Turn over a new leaf
Neck of the woods
Hard to tree-sist
Axe, and you shall receive
A final few silly tree jokes
How do you identify a dogwood tree? By the bark.
What was wrong with the wooden car with wooden wheels? It wooden go.
What type of films do trees like most? A sappy movie.
Which Canadian city is popular with trees? Montree-al.
What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch.
Why do trees make great thieves? Because they have sticky fingers.
What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon tree? A sour puss.
“Would you ever try the acorn diet?” “No way, it sounds nuts!”
What do you call an island with dozens of pear trees? Pear-adise.
What did the little pine tree say to the big pine tree? “Leaf me alone!”
What do you get hanging from apple trees? Sore arms.
What did the elm tree say after making an offer? “Take it or leaf it.”
Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school? Because he’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
What type of evergreen tree can change a light bulb? A palm tree.
These tree puns may have made you groan, but admit it – you still smiled!
Tree proverbs & tree sayings
Proverbs are always brilliant pause for thought, and a nice starting point for a conversation. There are lots of tree sayings out there, here are twenty of my favourites.
The best trees grow on the steepest hills. – Burundi proverb
The tree of silence bears the fruits of peace. – Arabian proverb
Mighty oaks from little acorns grow. – English proverb
Men will only throw stones at trees that are laden with fruit. – French proverb
A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. – Greek proverb
A seed hidden in the heart of an apple is an orchard invisible. – Welsh proverb
Little strokes fell great oaks. – American proverb
The taller the tree, the harder the fall. – Dutch proverb
When eating the fruit, think of the person who planted the tree. – Vietnamese proverb
If a dead tree falls, it carries with it a live one. – Kenyan proverb
Even the best tree sometimes has bad fruit. – Hungarian proverb
Don’t climb a tree to catch a fish. – Chinese proverb
An apple never falls far from the tree. – English proverb
The firm tree does not fear the storm. – Indonesian proverb
Though a tree grows ever so high, the falling leaves return to its roots. – Malawian proverb
In a tree that you can’t climb, there are always a thousand fruits. – Indian proverb
The one who plants the tree is not the one who will enjoy its shade. – Chinese proverb
Big trees cast more shadow than fruit. – German proverb
If you want to be happy for a year, plant a garden; if you want to be happy for life, plant a tree. – English proverb
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now. – Chinese proverb
Is your favourite tree pun on this list?
I hope these tree jokes, tree puns and tree proverbs have made you smile and created a whole forest of laughter 😉
More funny jokes and puns
For more jokes and puns on a nature theme, you might like to take a look at these posts:
Ice puns and water puns
The best bee jokes and bee puns
Sunflower puns and sunflower jokes
Puns about birds and bird jokes
Vegetable puns and vegetable jokes
Pumpkin jokes and pumpkin puns and skull puns (these are particularly good around Halloween, and my Halloween jokes for kids are worth a look too)
Spring puns and spring jokes and Easter jokes for kids
Christmas jokes for kids and clever Christmas puns
You might also like my posts on nature quotes and nature captions, earth day quotes, flower quotes, garden quotes, quotes about sunflowers and waterfall quotes.
More inspiration for nature lovers
If you love exploring nature and would like some more inspiration, my books *‘A Year of Nature Craft & Play’ and *A Year of Nature Walks & Games are packed with fun nature play activities, games and crafts for kids.
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